Woohoo i have finished radiation! In fact i have survived an operation, chemo AND radiation...wow! And i don't feel too battered and bruised either! I jsut need to take a pill a day (Tamoxifen) for the next 5 years. Lets hope i am more vigilant in taking Tamoxifen than i was taking birth control!...woops! I feel positive about the future in so many ways. There are so many ideas floating around in my head at the moment about what i want to do in my future and how i want to go about it...all very exciting. I read a post on someone's blog the other day that said 'your life starts at the end of your comfort zone'...i thought about this for a while and thought it was a very interesting statement. I do believe that we truly do start living the lives we are meant to live once we intentionally make ourselves get out of our comfort zones and start to do things that make us feel uncomfortable. We are all creatures of habit and i have noticed that the older i get the more stuck in my ways i get and the more i tend to just sit in my comfort zone. This has been something that i've been thinking about a lot since going through my treatment and something i intend to change going forward. Its not easy i know but i believe i can do it.
This website that i came across a few days ago has really inspired me. This is the website www.thewellnesswarrior.com.au This lady Jess is everything i want to be and do in the future. She has taken her cancer diagnosis and changed it into a positive and has made it her lifes work to live a healthy, inspired, fufilled life whilst encouraging others to do the same. I find myself going onto her website daily for daily affirmations which i say to myself during the day and reading her recipes which i like to try out at home. I have also come across this website www.kriscarr.com This lady is living with multiple tumours but continues to inspire, encourage and give hope to others in the same position as her and even those people that are not sick and want to prevent illness rather than find a cure once they are already ill.
I have been reading a lot of blogs and have made mental notes in my head about using some of the things that they have on their blog in my blog.
I'm still getting used to my blog...i'm still working out how i want it to look and how i go about doing that. Its a work in progress but over the next few weeks/months/years it will slowly develop into what i am really wanting to do which is have a blog that anyone can come to for encouragement, inspiration, recipes, interviews, information on health etc etc. Much like Jess Ainscough's website 'The Wellness Warrior' above. I also want to use my blog as a record of how far i've come and how what i've changed in my life as well as use it to record watching my kids grow up and events in their lives that i'd like to remember and come back to reflect on.
I am now cancer free...i am a cancer survivor. I don't intend to wallow in pity any longer. I intend to use this experience for my greater good and for the greater good of those around me. I'm just busy working out exactly how i do that! I am lucky that i live in an age where at my finger tips i have access to more information than i could ever want. I want to use that to my advantage.
I have also realised that there is so much available 'foodwise' out there if you look for it. Nick (my husband) said to me a few days ago 'would i like a dairy & sugar free birthday cake' for my birthday next week? I laughed and i said yes, but wondered where we would get one from. Last night i wasn't really even looking for a cake online but with a couple of clicks i was on a website where you can order dairy and sugar free cakes online right here in Christchurch and have it delivered to your door! You may pull your nose up at dairy and sugar free cakes...BUT don't do that before you have tried it. They are truly divine and you would never know that they miss those elements...that's whats so great about them. There is almost always natural substitutes to any ingredient you use in baking or cooking which you know may be bad for your health. The ultimate taste test will be my children! I won't tell them that its a special type of cake and i'll see what they think of it. Its being delivered next week Tues on my 34th bday :-)
I'm in search of an inspiring picture and some words of wisdom to use as a banner for the top of my blog...the search continues...so that is why my blog is looking a bit 'bleh' at the moment.
In all of my reading i have done whether it be on the net or in books one thing comes up time and time again 'self acceptance' which should be the first step in your recovery. When i first was introduced to this concept i thought 'what....self acceptance...what do you mean...of course i accept myself' but upon deeper reflection and thought i realised that i in fact I don't accept myself most of the time and i believe that most people on this planet don't accept and believe in themselves either! Yes...thats a BIG statement...but i believe that its true. Of course i am making generalisations here, but i believe for the most this is true. How many times do i look in the mirror and think 'oh gosh, your too fat, your looking old, your skin is saggy, look at that bump there' or i am mentally reprimanding myself for things i might have done during the day which i perhaps shouldn't have done like slept for longer than i should have or shouted at one of my kids when perhaps i should have kept my cool or I have burnt the dinner in the oven or something like that. If you become aware of your thoughts you will realise that most of them are along the lines of negative thoughts and we put ourselves down and beat ourselves up for minor things we may or may not have done. So with that in mind i have intentionally been reading positive daily affirmations which i think about during the day which i hope will sink into my sub conscious. Your sub conscious has no personality...what i mean by that is...if you tell yourself you are feeling tired over and over again whether you feel tired or not you will start to feel tired because that is what you have told yourself. So we can use our sub conscious to help us live more positive fulfilling lives by telling ourselves that we are acceptable, that we are powerful, that we accept ourselves exactly the way we are and that we love ourselves. One exercise i'm doing at the moment is every morning when i wake up and look in the mirror instead of the usual thoughts of 'oh goodness, aren't i looking terrible or tired or puffy this morning' i say out loud 'i love you Sam'...i'm doing that for 30 days.
Going to test out the new method of posting just now when I have finished. Lots to think about in your latest blog. Your last paragraph in particular resonates with me, as I am one of the people who don't particularly like themselves. Did you guess that and does it surprise you? Will have to study your advice in depth and try the positive affirmation route for myself. Funnily enough this is something that is mentioned often in my Yoga class.
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